Grob Slatsnik on state of the State

"Your really know how to ruin a guy's day, don't you Uphoff", he huffed. "You could have brought up my root canal instead. Let's put it this way, with this new governor the motto is 'Pay the fee or cop a plea'."

What in the world are your talking about", I asked?

Well, Uphoff, obviously you aren't a truck driver or operate a sewage disposal plant, do you?" he said.

"I do have a dump truck and a lot of people think that my website is something like a sewage disposal plant. But the answer is no and what's your point," I replied.

"In order to keep from raising taxes, this governor is instituting new fees or raising fees on just about everything," he replied. "Over the road truckers now have to pay over $4,000 a year in fees making Illinois the second most expensive state to operate a truck. Some truckers are already getting ready to move out of state. In addition, he has instituted a new fee for operating a sewage disposal plant which socks just about every community in the state."

"Why would the governor want to pick on truckers", I asked? "Did a truck run over his pet dog or something when he was a kid?"

"No! Its even more diabolical than that. He thinks that all truckers are Republicans," said Grob.

"Well then, does he think all operators of sewage treatment plants are Republicans also?", I asked?

"No. In this case he set the fees up so that smaller communities get hit harder than larger ones. The bigger the sewage treatment plant, the lesser the fee rate. The final insult is that his hometown of Chicago is exempt from this fee," he stormed. "But poor ole Minonk now has to pay $7,500 a year for a fee to operate its sewage treatment plant."

"Wow! That is pretty discrimatory. It sounds like the governor is taking care of his old hometown," I said.

"Yeah, I get what you mean," I said. "But I did read somewhere that the governor's wife wants to plant wildflowers along the downstate roads and interstate. So there must be some sympathy for us downstaters."

"I think that was just a coverup to hide all the garbage that blows out of the Chicago garbage trucks hauling their waste to the Pontiac landfill", replied Grob.

"So how is the governor going to deal with the $5 billion deficit in the state?", I asked.

"Boy, you ain't going to believe this, but I heard through the grapevine that the governor has been talking with officials in Wenona and he came up with this hair brained idea to declare the State of Illinois a blighted area and set up a TIF district that would encompass the entire state." said Grob.

"I can't believe that. That sounds illegal. How could he get away with that?", I asked.

"Hey, if the City of Wenona can do it why can't the State", replied Grob. "This will allow all property tax increases in the entire state to be funneled into a giant TIF fund for the state and then the governor can do what he wants to with that money. He could order as much hair spray as he wants".

"That's outrageous. Why don't we start a recall vote like California and throw the rascal out?", I roared.

"Sorry. We can't do that", said Grob.

"Why not?", I asked.

"We don't have any actors in this state that can run for office", he replied.