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Stupid Funny Quotes
Submitted by Art Kettelhut
Stupid funny quotes
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." --President Gerald Ford
"My fellow astronauts..."
--Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration.
"Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."
--Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the death penalty.
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
--Charles de Gaulle, ex-French President
"I stand by all the misstatements."
--Dan Quayle, defending himself against criticism for making verbal gaffes
"Gerald Ford was a Communist"
--Ronald Reagan in a speech. He later indicated he meant to say 'Congressman'.
"Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C.
"We found the term 'killing' too broad."
--State Department spokesperson on why the word 'killing' was replaced with 'unlawful or arbitrary deprivation of life' in its human rights reports for 1984-5
"This is a great day for France!"
--President Richard Nixon while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral
"This is the worst disaster in California since I was elected."
--California Governor Pat Brown, discussing a local flood
"It's not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific calling from God, is to be a television talk show host."
--James Baker, televangelist.
"The chairs in the cabin are for the ladies. Gentlemen are not to make use of them till the ladies are seated."
--Instructions posted in a river cruise ship, Suir River, Ireland.
"The exports include thumbscrews and cattle prods, just routine items for the police."
--U.S. Commerce Department spokesman on a regulation allowing the export of various products abroad.
"Facts are stupid things."
--Ronald Reagan, misquoting John Adams in a speech to the Republican convention.